I am thrilled to officially announce today the opening of my own university. I've appropriately named it "Thomas University." Right now I'm offering just one degree program and it's a Bachelor of Arts in Worship Projectology.I am prompted to develop this degree program, because it is painfully obvious at most churches where projectors are use during the praise and worship time that the person running them is in dire need of professional training. This program will include courses such as:
- Changing Slides at the Right Time 101
- Changing Slides at the Right Time 201
- Changing Slides at the Right Time 301
- Advanced Slide Changing Techniques
- The Art of Moving to the Next Slide at the Right Time
- Reversing Slides When the Worship Leader Gets Inspired
- Avoiding Neon Text on a Yellow Background
- Spelling at least 90% of the Words Correctly
- Not Forgetting to Include Entire Verses
- The Invitation Time
These along with many other advanced courses are designed to give the worship projector operator the expert skills so desperately needed to properly enter text into a computer and press the "Enter" key at the appropriate time so that the congregation can see the words.
Now accepting applications for enrollment.
7 comments:
Ha! YES!
Also, a course in passing roll in class should maybe be considered. One would be surprised how even college students seem to have trouble grasping the concepts involved with this task.
If only it were that simple, lol!
What about a correspondence course for Worship Leaders: Singing the words that the Projector Operator actually Typed 101
Advanced classes need to include:
Remote Clicker Troubleshooting 205
Secondary Monitor Use 301
Secondary Monitor Troubleshooting 302
Photo Quick-Loading 340
Using secondary monitors seems to be an area where many people lack skills and remote clickers always seem to have problems.
But perhaps the most useful is being able to take a pin drive or CD with a hundred unorganized photos given to you 5 minutes before a missions share service and creating a new Powerpoint slideshow with all of them sorted thematically by the time the service starts.
Ha, touché Jim. I'm not trying to just knock on those who run the computer, but I suppose my biggest pet peeve (if you didn't catch it) was that they just be able to move from one slide to the next in time. There's no more awkward feeling than an entire congregation of people standing there staring at a blank screen while the worship team is rocking out.
I really wish you'd asked for permission to use my name on the "pseudo" document before publishing it on the worldwide web.
Sincerely unamused,
Mr. M. Piddlestank
Didn't know what a slide or projector was but had it explained to me that they were the precursors of powerpoint.
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