Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Yes, It's True

Okay, here's the deal. Hold your comments, shock, worry, horror, like, dislike, etc. until after you've read the explanation below. I figured there was no way I could do this without having to literally write out a small treatise to explain what happened.

Yes, I'm bald. This is not photoshopped. I'm really, completely bald. Here's what happened.

First, this is not some kind of rebellion, make-a-statement kind of thing. I've been pondering this for some time (reasons to be explained below). Also, this is not my way of letting the world know that I'm having a mid-life crisis. Trust me, all who know me know my temptation to all things Macintosh. We're I to be having a mid-life crisis (and I assure you I'm not) it would have almost certainly taken the form of a several new gadgets that no person in his right mind needs.

Also to clarify for my Presbyterian friends, this is not my way of joining the "Mark Driscoll crowd" or going off on some theological tangent, or becoming "emergent." I'm still the same Thomas, just without hair on my head.

So here's the story. It begins actually about three years ago when I began to notice the breeze more and more up top. Looking in a mirror one day I noticed my scalp showing more than normal. I thought nothing of it really, just went about my business and didn't give it a second notice.

Now fast forward another 6 months. Cristy, Isaiah and I were eating at a little cafe in downtown St. Petersburg one afternoon. I excused myself to go to the restroom, and while washing my hands had a chance to look in the mirror. The light was right above the mirror and was shining down on my forehead. This time my scalp was REALLY noticeable. I was a little taken back. When I got back to the table I looked at Cristy and said "Okay, this isn't a trap or a trick question. I want you to tell me honestly. Am I going bald?" She paused for a moment, made that little scrunched-up-face-with-a-pity-smile look and gently nodded up and down in the affirmative. "Has this been going on for a while?" I asked. She replied in the same manner.

After that day I was determined that I wasn't going to let it bother me. I have always had very very thick dark hair as a kid and as a young man. I thought for sure I was going to be one of those guys who would escape it. I was wrong.

Over the last two years I've been losing it slowly, and was starting to develop that little bald "monk spot" as a call it in the back. I've always detested those little monk spots. A receding hairline from the forehead back I think I could have handled better. They don't strike me as ridiculous looking like the monk spots do. So over the course of the last two years as I watched my hair begin to bail like rats on a sinking ship I talked about it with Cristy. We agreed that once the monk spot began to appear that I was just going to avoid the inevitable and make the transition to a whole new look: bald.

Cristy actually quite liked this idea, and I don't think she'd have been disappointed if I had done it a year ago. When we got back to Russia just about 2 weeks ago I was beginning to notice the monk spot more and more. This morning I tried cutting my hair with the guard on like I normally do and noticed it just wasn't looking right. I called Cristy to the bathroom and asked "Do you think it's time to do this?" She got a big smile on her face like a little girl who was just asked "Would you like to open one of your Christmas presents early?" She replied with a lilt in her voice, "If you want to."

So here we are. I'm bald. Not balding. I'm bald. Now there's also a very practical and even sanctifying reason for this. When I first started going bald I thought it wouldn't bother me. "It's part of life. It's no big deal. Who cares?" Was how I planned to deal with it. But I know myself. I know my own heart. It did matter. I did find that I was starting to get bothered and a little self-conscious about the monk spot forming in the back. The last thing I wanted to do was become a combover guy, or be running to the store to by the infamous toupee-in-a-can spray. As I explored the options I considered that the completely bald look is not that bad. Lot's of famous people have been bald. Patrick Steward (a.k.a. Captain Picard), C.J. Mahaney, and from all accounts, the prophet Elisha. I could do worse. So I figured it would be best for me to just go ahead and get it out of the way and not have to worry about going bald ever. It's done. End of subject.

So far I like it. Cristy really seems to like it, and the kids looked at me for two seconds and went back to eating something and watching Mary Poppins. I know this might be strange for some of you who know me, especially for my family who have always known me with hair, but I trust it time you'll become used to it.

So there it is, my explanation. I wanted to give everyone fair warning before you saw some random picture of me on Facebook and a thousand questions followed. So hopefully now this answers those questions. If not, you are free to ask me more. I've got a little more time in my life since I don't have hair to wash anymore.


Fletch said...

Okay, I have a few comments...
First, welcome to the club.
Second, I thought you said "monkey spot" and I laughed several times. I was laughing at what it was about a bald spot that made you think it looked like a monkey. Then I laughed again. Then I reread it. Monk spot makes more sense, but monkey spot is funnier.
Third, come over and join the Driscoll crowd. They aren't as bad as the Presbyterian folk makes them out to be. They are actually a nice crowd. They will faithfully point you to Jesus!

B Nettles said...

I think you should go for the Heretic Mug look (see the dude on the mug at the top of your page). Fluffy sides, Charlie Hall goatee ... or maybe you just prefer to look like Nikita Krus'chov.

So you're not in MS anymore? It was 40C+ last weekend.

Robin Harris (ICE Coordinator) said...

Thomas, I love it -- it looks great; very distinguished. My Presbyterian pastor also sports that look, and he's the best Bible teacher I've ever sat under, so I have good associations (and not the Mark Driscoll kind) with bald, smart, godly, очень даже крутой guys. And besides, Picard is the coolest мужик in film.
Enjoy the breeze!

Anonymous said...

Hee Hee! Ya just made the work of the good Lord easier. He now has no need to know the number of hair on ya head. He can instead focus on me! (okay, I will admit too I'm balding too!)